My apologies to those who read this before on my blogsite, but due to Randyman's attempt to remove his finger* yesterday, and his trip with the boss today (I did inspection and packed a ton of bandaging material along with his candybars) , I am up at 4 a.m. and remembering why I hate getting up at this hour! ...which brought me to memory lane, and back to this blog. So here it is again! (Ya think I can hold a grudge??)
Breakfast for the Road Crew
We live 110 miles from the nearest small town. There is a county road that goes past the ranch. Its all dirt and gravel, but has to be maintained, so the county has worked out a deal with the boss to set up a rock crusher on the ranch for the summer. Now rather than have a buncha guys drive 2 hours each way to and from work, they also worked out a deal where a road crew stays here from Mon thru Thurs. They have to be fed. This is just one of the many jobs that the boss’ wife takes on. I don’t envy her, as they eat both breakfast and dinner REAL early, and its very inconvenient, with all the work that already has to be done on a ranch, which lasts from sun up to sun down.
I got up at 4 a.m. in the morning. Yes!! I DID say FOUR IN THE MORNING!! ...to feed the road crew that is staying here.
The boss’ wife told me that she and boss would both be gone. So...let me tell you how well that went! I am NOT a morning person.
We had just returned from a stressful 2 day shopping trip that nite, and I was exhausted. (grocery shopping is 5 hours away, and combined with errands, it runs about 20-24 hours a trip. This time we stayed overnight...frivolous, I know.)
I was informed that there were 6 guys who had to be out the door by 5 a.m. She said she had gravy in the fridge, and all I had to do was make biscuits, ham, eggs, tea and coffee. She would leave her sourdough biscuit recipe on the counter.
Sooooo in order to function well enough to find the boss’ house at 4 a.m., I had to start wakin up by 3 a.m. I threw on a sweatshirt and some bluejeans, and rode the 4 wheeler, (quietly of course)up to the house. I took off my shoes, and jacket, found that the boss’ wife had stoked the woodstove before leaving and it was a cool 110 degrees or so, inside the house. I opened the glass french back doors, hoping to find oxygen, and the wind slammed them back against the house. No glass broke, so I left it open, then started chasing the napkins and the recipe around the house where the wind was blowing them...I shut the stinking door...then realized, I had no GLASSES and could not READ the recipe! So back to OUR house to find reading glasses in the dark, and beg Scottie and Cider, our astute watchdogs, to stop barking at me and SHUT UP.
Return to boss’ house.
Read recipe at 4:30ish and note that it says, "shape rolls, and allow to rise til double. Bake 30 minutes"
Talk myself through panic attack.
Drive back to house for biscuit recipe that can actually BE made before tomorrow afternoon.
Lock Zoey, the ankle biting Jack Russell, in boss' back bedroom and tell her to SHUT UP.
Did you know that if you put the water in the coffee machine, before you go to dump the old grounds and replace them...there will be hot water all over the counter and the freezer when you get back?
Dry off counter and freezer.
Attempt to locate measuring cups and spoons for biscuit recipe.
Drive back to house for measuring cups and spoons.
Tell Coon and Bubba, 2 of the 5 cowdogs,to SHUT UP.
Did you know that the boss’ coffee measure is a totally different size and shape, and I am unable to tell how many are needed to make a cup of coffee in their machine?
Begin putting ingredients for biscuits in bowl, bravely attempting to do math in head, in early morning, to double recipe.
Drive to house for lard and cream of tartar.
Threaten dogs, again.
Make second pot of coffee, with different amount of grounds than first, hoping one of them is right.
Note there is no pastry cutter at boss’ house, REFUSE to drive home a 5th time in the pitch dark at OBSCENE hour when real people should NEVER be up cooking, or eating!
Cut out biscuits with bottom of glass as there are no biscuit cutters. Note they are the size of frisbees.
Place biscuits in oven at 4:58 noting they take 18 min to bake.
Start making scrambled eggs, as there is no way I can do eggs to order for all these guys without totally screwing them up. I am a pancake girl.
Did you know that the boss’ wife sometimes leaves tinfoil in the oven with stuff that has spilled over on it from baking something else, and that it can fill the entire house with smoke within minutes?
Note that eggs are not cooking, and assume electric stoves don't cook as hot, so turn dial up to high.
Find 6 gallon bowl of gravy in fridge and wonder if there is a FURNITURE DOLLY to move it to the sink so I can pour some in bowl and heat it in microwave.
Note that once electric stove gets hot, eggs burn very quickly and stove does not cool down again for two days.
Reread note from boss’ wife that cryptically says "tea-2 bags"
Pour water in tea pot and plug it in.
Wonder what the heck I am supposed to do with the tea bags.
Tell 'sissy-man, road-crew, tea drinker' to put a bag in his cup. Make note as he puts 2 bags in a carafe and pours hot water in.
Wonder who the heck drinks tea anyway, and recall seeing boss drink it. Reserve smart-ass comment.
Serve breakfast at 5:30, informing victims there are no guarantees.
Note with pleasure, all survive and take extra biscuits with them. Perhaps to eat, or maybe to run thru rock crusher. Who cares? I’m going back to bed.