LEFT BEHIND

The summer of '22 and winter of '23 were one of the worst. Both of our sweet Maremma Livestock Guardians died. First Mr Potamus, then only months later, his brother Bruno. On the heels of these losses, softened only by the fact that they were both elderly at 12, came the loss of Heath who was only 7 years old.

Since he was 8 weeks old, we have never been separated except when I was in surgery. We spent every living minute together. I had no idea he was sick, when a lump came up on his chest. Fearing it was a foxtail abscessing, I took him to the vet. A biopsy was done and came back as angio sarcoma. A rare and aggressive cancer. Three weeks later he was gone. I have never been so devastated. I would have given everything I have to have gone with him as the loneliness, the isolation, the hardship of not having his help, the loss of a being I loved so deeply and loved me back unconditionally was excruciatingly painful.

Knowing I could not cope with the isolation here unless I had a dog, at the very least, for company we began looking for a companion. Nothing can ever replace Heathen but I needed something living to spend my days with as I am utterly alone. I only see Randy in the morning while he eats and watches TV, and at night, while he eats and watches TV. The rest of the day I don't hear or see another living thing. Heath's breeder, and the breeder she got his mother from began discussing the situation with Heath. Coincidentally, she had recently repurchased a puppy that had not worked out in its home. He is a very active, highly intelligent, independent puppy. They felt he might make a Service Dog prospect for me so they pitched him and we made the 7 hr drive to pick him up. We enjoyed a too short time with my friend then returned home with Fen. Another oddity. I didn't name either dog. Heath and Fen are both habitats. Fen is a distant cousin of Heath. Fen was a little over 5 mo old.

Fen

Fen quickly began finding jobs for himself. He added a new cycle to the dishwasher, instead of prewash we now have a Fen cycle. I began to attempt to clean up the back yard. The water troughs I used as planters were filled with grass and as I would tug it out and shake the dirt off, Fen would grab another and violently shake the dirt off of his as well. I got a 6" chain saw and began cutting back the overgrown badly neglected rosebushes and he chewed on the canes. Anything to be of service, really. 

Aside from counter surfing and demand barking he didn't know an awful lot other than what his breeder, an amazing woman and a pillar of this breed, was able to teach him.  I began working with him and was surprised at how smart he really is.

It took no time at all for him to learn to hand me things. It took less time for him to realize if he stole something he knew I didn't want him to have, it was a guaranteed swap of treat for item. I awoke every morning to collect contraband on my lap.

He has a very sensitive nose. He can find a toy antler with rack wax on it anywhere, inside or out. I used that to teach him to find my phone and kindle by placing small pieces of tissue with a couple drops of EO inside the case.

He learned the basics of sit, down, stay is barely a concept with him, but TheMan has to have his hip replaced and the ortho wants his teeth worked over first so Fen's first outing was to a dental office. We spent a great deal of time laying on a mat or taking short walks. He actually did pretty well, going from barking at the first two people he saw, to ignoring people coming and going and paying scant attention to two very noisy children in the waiting room. On the way home, we got stuck in Jordan Valley for the night because of a traffic accident blocking the snowy roads.

The following morning we woke up to this:

Life with Fen has been interesting and a bit demanding. He is rarely quiet. But because of him I am forced into activity.  He cheers me up...

 Has helped me make soap to thank the many friends on FB who helped me survive Heathen's loss and donated to the cause so I could afford to buy Fen...

There HAVE been times we both thought I might strangle him...

He is the stealer of socks, neck pillows, tupperware containers, glasses and chairs...

He woke me up enough to finish embroidering my ballcap...

and encouraged me to clean the carpets...

We have done some canning,

and gone to the Dr together, where she was talking with her hands and Fen kept trying to give her a high five...

In 6 short weeks, he has learned to take off my socks and hand them to me, to find my phone and kindle, to pick up anything I drop or ask for by pointing, (I dropped both a flat canning lid and a credit card which he quickly picked up without being asked, as I didn't think it possible) to pick up and put his toys away with some help, to let himself out the back door as well as open and close the bathroom door for me when I am in a wheelchair, how to help me get clothes out of the dryer and a few other simple tasks. As I said, he is exceptionally intelligent and he loves to work. I do believe when he matures he will be a stellar Service Dog. 

I still grieve Heath, I still cry at night because I miss his presence. Fen isn't Heath, Fen is Fen and I love him for who he is, but there is still a void that cannot be filled.

It is going to take time.

I hope to do all the things with Fen this summer that I had planned to do with Heath, starting with riding again.

Til next time,

Petey aka Kim&Fen

 

Done. Here.

 Well, I painstakingly wrote a blog that was very difficult and painful for me to write, regarding the sudden loss of my Service Dog, Heath.

Google saw fit to delete and destroy the entire post, not even leaving me with a draft of it. As the pain in my hands is extreme, it is too great a cost to write again. I am pretty much done here with this.