Thursday, November 20, 2014

Mid November 2014

Another hard day. Everyday brings choices. We try to make the best ones we can, some have been good, some bad, some glorious and some painful. I'm grateful for a man who has a heart not just for me, but for our animals. He's been a gentle rock for us to lean on and I wish I could show him how much he is appreciated. He is the best choice I ever made in my life. He's been more patient and kinder than I could ever ask anyone to be, as he has tended to not just our outdoor critters, but to me, in my infirmity and to my much loved Golden Retriever, Cider.

As many of you know, my dear and faithful Cider was failing. At 14 yr, he suddenly started aging and quickly went downhill. Keeping him with us as long as possible, he finally awoke early one morning whimpering and unable to get up. We made the difficult decision to put him down as we knew he was never going to get better and we did not want him to suffer. He kept his attention on me whenever he was wakeful, as I had given him a strong painkiller that made him drowsy as well as kept him comfortable for the long drive to the vet. As long as he could see me, he was quiet, but when I was not in his line of sight, he cried pitifully. He died with me holding his paw. My heart is so broken I wonder if it will ever mend. He was my best friend aside from TheMan, but unlike TheMan, he was my constant shadow, keeping me company everywhere I went, from the bathroom, to long rides across the ranch. His absence is felt far more deeply than I ever imagined it could and as this has been a difficult year already, with much pain and much loss, I am kind of reeling with it all.

On a happier note, as I have been wheelchair bound for over 2 months after a joint injection gone wrong, TheMan bought me a powerchair so I am no longer trapped in a recliner 24/7. I am able to do a lot more towards taking care of myself and am able to resume making the soy tarts, candles, body butter and with some difficulty, soaps for the online store. I've had to be creative about things, such as spot cleaning carpetsbut I have found that if I can get my sock off, I can spray the rug, use my toes to sort of agitate the carpet fibers, then pick up a rag with self same toes to blot up the spot. Works pretty good. Who knows what other skills I might discover?

The Maremmas' little flock has thinned down considerably, as the 9 lambs all went to sale and SushiMoo and her wild heifer are out with the ranch cattle for the winter, they’ve only the 4 ewes, ram and a handful of old chickens to care for. Coyote activity has been pretty heavy around here, though, so their job hasn’t actually gotten any easier. They’ve done a great job and since putting up the radio fence, they are content to stay within the boundaries we set for them, which makes me feel they are all much safer. I miss seeing them, as they are outside working and I am inside, waiting for surgery. I can occasionally catch a glimpse of my old horse, Mister, through the bathroom window, but it’s always brief.

The ducks are the main entertainment, as they are in the yard and I can sometimes see them through the window, splashing and playing in their water or grubbing for whatever they find in the lawn, even though its been below freezing for a week or more. The poor blind drake, Magoo, has been a pretty good sport as the others seem to find it amusing to ‘ditch’ him and run behind something impassable then quack at him to get him to run into stuff. Kids can be so cruel.
One of them has begun to lay eggs, so I am anxious to try them out.

I’m still awaiting word on when they can do the knee replacement for me as there have been some complications, but I am anxious as it means I will be walking again soon after and can resume my life.

We have a new grandbaby down south and hope to see family soon, but again, all depends on the Dr.‘s decision.

Meanwhile, I hope you all have a fabulous Thanksgiving holiday. Hug your loved ones, both human and non as they are not with us here forever.

Visit the etsy store for Ranch Rustics soaps/candles/body butter. They make great Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers, but order early, before inventory runs out! 




  1. So glad that you are a bit more mobile now. And I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear Cider. I am going out right now to bring my Chucky inside. Thank you for your thought provoking words!

  2. Dear Petey, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear Cider. It's so heartbreaking that you had to lose him on top of everything else you've gone through; no wonder you're reeling. Our dear animals take a chunk of our hearts when they leave us, don't they? I'm praying that your broken heart will heal in time. May the Lord comfort you. Sending you a big hug, Susan

  3. Thanks Susan. I know it is a part of life, but it is the most painful and lately there has been so very much of it! I appreciate the thoughts

  4. I'm so sorry to hear Cider has crossed the rainbow bridge. One of the hardest things to do is help our animals cross when they are suffering. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't and the heart aches for them like nothing else. Only time lessens the pain felt and words conveyed can't bring enough comfort but you are in my prayers for peace.

  5. Cider leaves a big hole but so many memories to treasure.
    My sympathy is with you.

  6. Well, you really have to be careful in how you handle the rug. Its fibers can be an added logistical problem, given its fragile yet complex material. That is where good power cleaning comes in, with all the solutions and equipment that will face down any challenge it will pose and make your rug clean as a whistle without unfurling or unraveling the base materials. I believe that is something you can pull off. Good luck!

    Nancy Graham @ A New CC

  7. Petey/Kim:
    Hope you feel much better soon. More of a lurker than a poster, I pray for a speedy recovery and happy holidays

  8. I was pleased to see your new blog entry, happy for your expanded mobility. Sorry you lost your Cider.
    Praying for a stellar medical team for your upcoming surgery. God bless and comfort you.

  9. It is so good to see your here. I sure hope they get you fixed up very soon. The Man is wonderful, how nice to have the new chair to get around in. He is so dear.
    My heartfelt sympathy in your loss. Cider was precious. Big hugs....

  10. My condolences on the loss of a dear friend and companion. I am glad you have the new power chair. You may also want to consider getting some adaptive equipment especially a reacher which lets you pick up items from the floor, gently run a washcloth from the floor, get items from a counter, and other similar tasks. You can probably find one online for a reasonable price. Carol G.

  11. No words can comfort your loss of beloved Cider. The memory will be with you for ever. He did had a GOOD life & that is comforting. I'm very glad that you have more tech. advanced chair & that you can do "things". Working on project can occupy our brain, so we can put to rest the other sad thoughts at least for some moments. It's better then therapy I say! When I was grieving about my various human & animal loses, I went high on scaffold & started doing some carpentry on a house. This job surely took my brain over!
    I wish you joyful Turkey Day & very little to None pain!

  12. The loss of a dog is overwhelming. I believe that these animals are special beings, that come to us for a reason. They teach us so many things about life and they protect us. Cider will report back that your love for him was as unconditional as his was for you. Be honored that he was yours for a while.
    Get that operation so you can live painlessly. Life is short. Knees are replaceable. The operation will make you a new person.
    Isn't my friend "D" there somewhere?... aren't they killing some of the Coyote for your ranch? Hope so.