Sunday, April 22, 2012

A Word to the Wise


I spend a good deal of time perusing the internet. There is a wealth of information out there to be had, as well as communities of people with common interests. There is just about every kind of community, or “board” you can imagine. Faith, Fashion, Food, Health, Animals, Lifestyles, Sports, Humor, Education etc. There are folks who flock to these forums to share both their needs and their experience. Being 5 hours from town isn’t a hardship to me, because by nature, I have always been pretty much a loner. My life experience has found an awful lot of people who just aren’t very nice and my own company, or the company of my animals is a lot more edifying. My circle of friends is rather small, both in person and on the internet. Those whom I do consider friends I think very highly of, regardless of their age, gender, or location. I have met some great folks that use their access to the internet well and wisely, being positive, supporting others and providing good fellowship, advice and enjoyable interactions.
Then there are the self proclaimed experts, who are certain that no one else is capable of accumulating the amount of knowledge, experience or good sense they themselves own, and consider every other person, forum or idea on the web to be a threat. Then there is the odd one who, for reasons I cannot fathom, choose to use their words to wound, accuse and/or condemn. One would think that, because the relationship is long distance, superficial and only through the computer, that a verbal attack or flaming by someone shouldn’t affect us, or that we can just click them off. That’s all true, but I find it’s not all that simple.
James spoke about the power of the tongue, how it can tear down and destroy, or build up. Bruises heal and are no longer seen, but words sink deep into the heart or psyche and they scar much more easily. I would like to say, we should always be careful how we speak, that we don’t use our words as weapons to injure another. But on the internet, I think we need to be doubly cautious. Without the facial and audible cues of how something is being delivered, our words can often be misunderstood. In addition to this, unlike the spoken word, what is written is right there in black and white, powerful and public. It can be devastating to the recipient. 

We don’t know why any given person is on our forum, or chat room, or wherever it is you might congregate, perhaps they are alone and desperately need to reach out to someone. Maybe they are ill and could use some comfort. Perhaps it is someone who needs to be needed and a rebuff can send them into a tail spin and you wouldn’t even know it. We can be floating along in our own lives, poisoning others, merely by being careless.

 I implore you, to choose your words wisely. Better yet, read James 3. I couldn’t agree with anything more, or say it any better.

You have my word on it.

16 comments:

  1. Truly you have found the way to explain how words can be every element on the internet. I try to watch mostly, but then I write with my heart or personality. I hope your day is adventurous and comforting. I need more animals ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks, Nancy. IF nothing else, the animals are sure good listeners!

      Delete
  2. petra lady, sometimes u say things i wished i had the courage to say and u do it in such a gentle way. i'm pretty brash but i hope i don't hurt people intentially, but i have seen one i love dearly get hurt by someone who should know bettr. keep writing...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have never seen any trace of malice in you, but I have seen a great deal of wisdom put forth, by you both. Here's to healing of every kind!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Petey
    You are a wise lady. I just reread James 3. Very good words to live by.
    My Mother always taught me *If I did not have anything nice to say, say nothing.* I think it was very sage advice. As hard as it is, we need to let unkind words slid off. It seems those that know us least are the ones that are sharpest of tounge. I try to remember the source and go on.
    Have a blessed day.. hugs..

    ReplyDelete
  5. I remember that old adage as well. It's taught me to be silent a lot! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. People tend to be less thoughtful now, due, I believe to the level of remoteness the Internet gives you. Emails are blasted off without a second read, or a deep breath. And I so agree with you - words are the cruelest weapons of all. Once they are uttered, it's like a scar you cannot remove. I am of the camp that believes that friendships are very precious and need cultivating. Therefore, I don't strew them about, but keep them small in number, but so important to the welfare of my head and heart.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post. Makes a mockery of that old sticks and stones nursery rhyme doesn't it! Agree with you about having a small circle of friends. My best ones are ones I have known a long, long time, some going back to childhood. What I really hate though is having a friend who then turns out to be not what you thought........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes, that is where grace and forgiveness have to play their part, but I believe in still movin' on, even so.

      Delete
    2. petey, I just wanted you to know that I know specifically what you are speaking of. I hope that you will continue to be the uplifting person that you are and that those who have brash tongues and hardend hearts will be softened in part by your words. Keep on being the beautiful person you are! BIG Hugs...Staci, Stubborn Hill Farm

      Delete
    3. thanks Staci, I appreciate it more than you know!

      Delete
  8. You have said this so well, so kind and gentle. I have also found that there are people fighting their own battles, whether silently or not, and a kind word can mean so much. And you are right.... animals are wonderful and always understand. I don't know what I would do without mine. Life is so hard sometimes.
    Thanks for what you write. I enjoy your blog, and know that when you put something up, I can read and feel better, no matter what my day has been.
    ~~Lori

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Lori, It makes me happy if anything I do makes someone smile. :)

      Delete
  9. Thanks for the reminder Petey. I was caught in the undertow this week by the actions and comments of a customer with whom I thought I also shared a friendship as well as a faith. Being on the receiving end makes me remorseful for those times I was the inflicter of pain. God forgive me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's hard, isn't it? One thing about people I am sure of...they will always eventually let us down...and if they don't do it, we do it to ourselves. So glad there is One we really can count on!

      Delete